As an Aspie, I remember working through illnesses such as strep throat, colds, even viral gastroenteritis until the gastroenteritis actually did catch up with me. I could work double time or even triple time for hours then go home and come back to do it again then next day. Rarely did I need to call out from work. I even worked a straight 33-hour shift and was only tired enough to sleep for just 8 hours to recover.
This past week, however, I was WOEFULLY unprepared for being sick as a newly-minted NT. When I was sick as an Aspie, I almost never complained about it. Most times, Michelle didn’t even know I was sick.
BUT, as a new NT, being sick is a whole different drag. I actually could feel more pain. I had pain in joints and muscles. It wasn’t strep throat, but my throat felt as sore and scratchy as if it were strep. Michelle used to comment, in years past, at how sweet I was when I was sick. She used to say that most people are grouchy and testy when they’re sick. And, they complain all the time but why wasn’t I? I didn’t know the answer then.
This time around, however, I was totally out of it. And, not Aspie unaware. But, I didn’t even know that my personality had changed to one of testiness, contempt and downright rudeness. Michelle got upset at me and I couldn’t figure out why. Now, I realize that I was being overwhelmed by all the emotions that come with pain and sickness. I realized that I was out of control in my mood. I didn’t like that at all. I don’t like not being in control of my thinking and perceiving. The sickness really warped my perception. I didn’t even know I was skewed. But, sure enough, no matter how much I thought I was seeing things in perspective, I finally saw that I was being difficult, something I rarely was when sick as an Aspie.
This diet has been one interesting experience after another. My autism is definitely on the down turn, hopefully, for good. I think life will finally be a lot more interesting, effective and realistic than the previous 45 years as an autie.